How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
