I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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