im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
