haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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