It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
