I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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