Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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