The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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