these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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