the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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