Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
