Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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