I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
