they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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