Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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