i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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