youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
