How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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