i can't believe i had my finger in that
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
