so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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