never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
