we have pet lesbian snakes
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
