i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
