Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
