Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just want nice things and good sex
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
