You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
