What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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