that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
