So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
