his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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