i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
