is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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