and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
