C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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