I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
