okay pat passed out under dana's car
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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