My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
