Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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