I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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