if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
