we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
