Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
