i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
