could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
