this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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