I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
