Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
