when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
