Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
