Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
do herpes really smell.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
